May Clark

Tribute To Single Mommies!



Posted: Sunday, May 14, 2006

by May Clark

We've all heard the accusations. 'She's milking the system', 'too lazy to get a job', 'that kid is way out of control, what he needs is a father', or the worst of all, 'she's an awful mother, he should go live with his dad'.

Speaking from experience, being a single mom myself, I think it's time the record was set straight.

Welfare moms: For some reason, people who don't know us, honestly think that we purposely set out to 'milk the system' and are just lazy. In reality, we have to swallow every ounce of pride, be stripped bare of all privacy, and utterly humiliated not to mention being conscious of the stigma that follows us everywhere we go, in order to do what we think is best for our precious little ones. While we spend hours upon hours, waiting patiently in line at the welfare office, trying to appease our screaming little ones, so that we can make certain that the same said little ones have enough food to eat, enough diapers, and enough clothes to wear, has anyone stopped to think about what the father is doing at that exact time? More than likely, he is hanging with his buddies, not thinking twice about his little one, or wether or not his child is being provided for. He can't even lift his finger to write out a check and send it in the mail, and I certainly can't imagine him putting the effort out that us single mommies do. Why do not just get a job, they ask. For one, it's a proven fact that a small baby develops much better and happier being one on one with his mother. For two, if this baby is forced to only have one parent, doesn't he deserve to be around that parent, and know that he is well loved at least by his mother, instead of being shoved into daycares, and getting leftover time from his mommy? It's not the child's fault by any means, that his father didn't care enought to stick around, and he shouldn't have to be punished. It certainly isn't being lazy, either, to spend every waking minute caring for a baby. If a nanny were to be paid to take care of the same child full time, it would cost at the very least 5 times as much as what we receive every month in benefits. Who can put into amount, the endless hours walking the floor, staying awake all night with a sick little one, the hours spent worrying? It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination, to take care of a child full time, especially if you're the only one in the picture. Even if we're one of the lucky ones that have family to help out, we still have All the responsibilities of raising a child and making all the decisions that go along with it, thrust one our shoulders. The important thing, we cared enough to take that responsibility, and our babies will grow up knowing that we cared!

Working single moms: Working moms by far have the most difficult job of all. They have to wake up early, drop their baby at daycare, spend a long and tedious day at work, all the while worrying about their little one, and wether or not he's being well taken care of, wishing they could be home with their baby instead. After work, they have to rush to daycare to pick up a usually cranky baby, who has spent the day crying for their mommy, go home, prepare dinner, do the chores, spend what little time they have left with their baby, crawl into bed exhausted, wake up for night-time feedings, and drag themselves out of bed early in the morning to start the day all over again. They're trying hard to provide a good living for their little ones, usually without much if any help from the father, and killing themselves in the process. If their baby is one of the unfortunate ones that get sick often, they usually end up losing their jobs, and having to worry about finding new ones, because of missing so much work to take care of their sick baby. Every decision lies on their shoulders alone, they are drained emotionally and physically, and still, they have to hear such biting comments as those above. Would an instant father really help the situation, or make it worse? How many stories do we read in the papers almost daily, about a child being abused or killed by his stepfather? If the reason we work so hard trying to provide for our children, that their behaviour is not as perfect as is deemed necessary by the public, is because the father doesn't care enough to help their own child, is it honestly going to help the child, to go live with this father?

Wake up and smell the roses people. Instead of condemning us single moms for what we don't do, why not look at what we do instead. Single mommies have the hardest job of all. We have to do alone, what other people do together. At the very least, we should be given credit for making the decision to take care of our babies, something that the fathers didn't do, thus why we are single mommies. I for one, think our babies are lucky to have us, as we are lucky to have them, and I think we deserve a round of applause on this upcoming Mother's Day!

This Article has been viewed 267 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.